Sunday, July 8, 2012
Redecorating
I am delighted to inform our dear readership that in the coming days this sisterly blog will be given a look that is more pleasing. Perchance these renovations will increase our patronage, which has waned thin as of late. Indeed, it appears the Russians have abandoned interest in our musings altogether.
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New looks are all very well, but my dear and good ladies, it is a lack of reply that disturbs this fine gentleman. I am no stranger, nay, for you should inquire amongst yourselves, and if, if I may speak boldly, you shall find that Charlotte and I have made acquaintances.
ReplyDeleteRussians? What, do you mean those quite obsessed with that which is not canned spicy ham, but rather, gross and petulant shilling of goods of prurient and disreputable nature that is still called "spam"?
Good sir, you are mistaken, for it is not the Russians who kindle a fondness of the canned meat, but the Hawaiians. I do hope that in meeting Charlotte you were properly introduced and with a chaperone near at hand. I would not want my beloved sister accused of unseemly conduct with any gentlemen whose acquaintance I have yet to procure.
ReplyDeleteNay, dear lady, I do not speak of the canned pork meat favored by the Sandwich Islands, but the overwhelming plethora of shill advertisements coming from Eurasia. We have a misunderstanding.
DeleteSpeaking of such, Charlotte and I were properly introduced, and it was she that invited me here. If you do imply that I was a suitor, you err most unkindly, for our past correspondences were of a neighborly manner, and such assertions would be scandalous. She is clearly aware of my marriage that has endured for thirteen years of this writing. She was quite thoughtful and asked after my children on many occasions, who are now ten and five years of age now.
I am a doting father and husband, and that is not about to change in the least bit. I remain jaklumen throughout these virtual lands, a man of honor, virtue, and respect. Although I admit "jaklumen" be a pseudonym, it is yet a name that is most unique to me, and is claimed by no other soul. I do regret that I have failed to introduce myself properly, but I must insist that I was never quite allowed the opportunity as such. The neighborhood of Google is not quite friendly to others coming to call, most notably my home, Press of Word.
I leave my calling card: http://jaklumen.wordpress.com
and do ask that you would speak with Charlotte, so that future visits might be more cordial.