Whilst scrubbing the kitchen utensils (alas, we cannot afford to keep a maid), I could not help noticing a surplus in the number of spoons in the washbasin and a lack of knives amongst the cutlery. Perchance the knives have been borrowed by a neighboring party, and we will not see them again? It will be very hard indeed for us to butter bread. One might hope for a bounty of knives when there is not one to be found.
Oh, but my dear Emily, you are much safer with your dearth of blades! You may always improvise with respect to butter application; though it admittedly would never be considered acceptable in households of good repute, it may spare you from injury via a murderous, or perhaps deranged, intruder, particularly one who perceives you as a rival in love. If you have any matches or other incendiary devices in the vicinity, I implore you to be rid of those as well.
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