Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Knives
Whilst scrubbing the kitchen utensils (alas, we cannot afford to keep a maid), I could not help noticing a surplus in the number of spoons in the washbasin and a lack of knives amongst the cutlery. Perchance the knives have been borrowed by a neighboring party, and we will not see them again? It will be very hard indeed for us to butter bread. One might hope for a bounty of knives when there is not one to be found.
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Oh, but my dear Emily, you are much safer with your dearth of blades! You may always improvise with respect to butter application; though it admittedly would never be considered acceptable in households of good repute, it may spare you from injury via a murderous, or perhaps deranged, intruder, particularly one who perceives you as a rival in love. If you have any matches or other incendiary devices in the vicinity, I implore you to be rid of those as well.
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